Body language and negotiation

Most of us are unaware that in 1:1 meeting only 7% of the message received by the other side is based on what we said (actual words), the remaining 93% of the message received is split between paralanguage 38% (sound, tone, speed, pitch) and 55% through body language, now this should blow you away if you fully understand the implications of this in negotiations, first of all, the amount of information you can gather on your counterpart is staggering, from things like stress, lose of interest, disbelief, mistrust and even if they are truthful in there response, the second piece of this is you being aware of yourself and how to control and communicate a message through non-verbal and body language. Reading and controlling non-verbal language is a skill anyone can learn, One example is diticting a lie, have you ever negotiated while wondering if the other party’s ultimatum is merely a tactic? Or perhaps if there is a genuine underlying reason for refusing to discount price? To help clarify the reality behind a negotiator’s spoken words you can activate your ‘mobile lie detector’. That will help you uncover what someone is really thinking or feeling by reading and interpreting someone’s body language. With the right training, you even learn to manage someone’s body language.

Perhaps surprisingly, we are all born honest. Lying is not natural and is mostly caused due to situations or force of circumstance. As a result, both physiological and bodily changes occur. Because lying is unnatural, the mental struggle of truth versus untruth causes our hearts to beat faster, which increases blood pressure. Our eyelids blink faster, the mouth becomes dry and some people blush.

Specific body language signs to look out for are:

• The speaker’s eyes look left and down

• A finger may rub an eye as if to remove something while turning the head away

• Someone says ‘yes’ while their head shakes ‘no’ (be aware of cultural differences)

• The palm or palms of our hands are not exposed

• The mouth is covered in different ways while speaking

If, within the context of your negotiation, you see any one of these signs it tells you that the person is being untruthful. If, however, you see two or more of these signs within the same context, you know that person is lying. If there is a quick nose wipe, that demonstrates two signs: covering the mouth and unconsciously dealing with that tingly, itchy feeling in the tip of the nose. The latter is due to the increased blood pressure in the nose’s very fine blood vessels.

Activate your ‘mobile lie detector’ during your next negotiation to uncover the truth of what the other person is saying!

With permission of the copyright holder expert on Body Language, Tony Morris - torso talk