Big idea #7 - The pitfall of assumptions. by Gerard I. Nierenberg, The Complete Negotiator
In my previous post, from Nierenberg's book, I talked about Why is a negotiation agenda important? today I'll talk about big idea #7 " The pitfalls of assumptions.
What’s the origin of assumptions? From birth, we begin to form assumptions. Hot things are painful; Mother’s arms are warm and comfortable. And as we mature, we continue to acquire a freight of assumptions at an enormous rate. From assuming that paying online will secure the receipt of goods to boarding a plan and assuming it will reach our destination. If we had to question everything and reason everything through, nothing would get done.
To become a professional negotiator, you need to keep an open mind and be aware of the bias of pre-formed assumptions, thus it is necessary for you to reexamine your supercargo of assumptions. Some are wrong and must be discarded. Others need to be modified. Still, some stay valid.
Not being aware of the hard-wired assumption coding you have, you potentially will be severely handicapped unless you review your own assumptions and anticipate the assumptions of the other party.
Keep in mind the following points about assumptions:
Like an iceberg, nine-tenths of our assumptions lie below the conscious level.
A substantial amount is an accumulation of misinformation, gathered during a lifetime, through culture, personal experience, emotional conflicts, and relationships.
Hidden assumptions are difficult to subject to rational verification.
There is nothing wrong with making assumptions. The problem arises when we act and think as if the assumption is the absolute and only truth!
Very often a great deal of time is wasted in a negotiation because both sides have misunderstood the facts of the situation (assumptions are at the root of this).
One should always go beyond the mere words of the negotiator.
To find the facts look to the “outside world” instead of the words of the opposition (get out of our own heads!)
If facts are true, they can be verified, and verification leads to a solution and away from misunderstanding.
Often the successful function of a mediator is merely to interpret and convey information accurately.
Negotiators must never forget that what they assume is only a guess or a probability.
If a negotiator acts as though the assumptions are a certainty, they take a calculated risk.
A negotiator who fails to understand the immediate situation because of a hidden assumption is often stuck with the assumption as a fact throughout the negotiation. This can prove to be disasters.
People tend to label everything prematurely, thus seriously limiting their ability to perceive reality!!
Available on Amazon: THE COMPLETE NEGOTIATOR
